Evelyn Tan

last nite had a good chat wif rara
thot after wad i saw online
i really wanted to have a good wash
and den head off to bed
and forget abt everythin

i realise somethings
i understood why she had drastic mood changes
and yes both rara and i agreed tat
our bfs does plays a major role to tat.

well i guess someone will not understand this fact
or mayb not
i dun noe
i dun wish to noe either

sometimes things tat are said
i can't help but questioned
if it was real or fake
things i see
things i went through
are different form wad is said

i have no idea if its all a good thing
form few meetings a week
or rather everydae
to lesser met up
form long phone calls
to short phone calls
form million of msges
to less den 20 a day
and to todae
no meet up
no phone call
long wait for jus a single msg

i have no idea if wad i m through is called a true realtionship
if its all i had wanted
yes i noe exams are right ahead
they are jus week away
i have to take things in my stride..

as i was clearing my study corner todae
i went through alot of things
and tat inculdes my year book
i rmb five years back
i was so plumb
so nerd
i can't help but smile at the book

i was so carefree
i eat junk food like no one's business
i hate work out
i hate sweating
i hate swimsuits

now
i wear bikini
i dance like mad
i wait for my date
and a really long wait

tats this great change in me..a sudden thot..if i were back in thoes years..fat and clumsy and careless will i be loved at all. by him i mean.. perhaps i will be buried deep into the crowd.. its like a realistic world.. wad to do.. everyone goes for looks..

when will one understand me
sigh i have no idea wad i m doin either
where i m headin
wad and i waiting for
if this wait is worth my wait
i have lost reasons to continue waiting

u noe.
i was fighting so hard to go to hk wif him and mates
though i had a bad fight
but when i see him the next dae
i saw the reasons for me to push on
till there is no more room

but now.
i can't even bring myself to believe his words
his action jus so different
i have no idea if wad was said is true or fasle
even den
i still felt i was the spare tyre
the second choice now.
i have yet seen him in days
neither have i ask to see or meet up
its all silence
i have used to wait for a phone call at least when we dun meet
now i dun even ask such
even den
i really dunno how to explain this feelin rite inside me

four more days.
its gonna be a year
i have no idea hows its gonna be like
a long fight
i can't even see the future
how things gonna be like when exams finishes.

i really dunno how to explain this feeling
i totally understand how she felt back den
i noe i have said this a thousandth times
i told clara tat too
i m tired
mentally
physically
in this whole thing
i dun wish to say whos fault it is
perhaps its jus us
tat is different
our point of view
liked wad rara said
sigh i guess

eve
ooooooooooout