Evelyn Tan

early morning.i could feel my eyes swelled.or i dunnoe it jus feel wired.mayb cause i cired the longest ever.yest.i dun understand why does my tears drop so easily.i have no idea.ferst it was by the rivers of taman negara.there qingling was there for me.den was OBS.there my godfather was there for me.then was MISSION DAY.there everyone was there for me.qingling sherlynn li clara shuqi and many more.the followed by reslease of CHINESE RESULTS.there ling and li char and joey was there again for me.yest.there were jus so many more things to tear abt. i cried so easily on all those occasion.but on occasion tat tears dun reagards or too flows. clara was there for me as well

first it was for the mess i m in.den li called and tooked.she told me some stuffs.which i had wondered if i reali meant anythin at all.i noe u meant alot to me.but u said lifes was so much better without me.u said u had not be bothered if i was there or not.but u were there for me.i guess i wasn't there for u.instead.casue more irrittation.i would say.if that's the case.i choose to leave.cause i would want all my friends to stay cherry and happy always.for them anythin is possible.i love em all wif my sincere heart.and had wish the best for em all.

in response.i was not refering to u.jong was the one tat told me everythin abt it.i dun blame anyone.but i could tell the results myself.i had teared.casue i was so silly to fall.i had realise how small he was.his actions and his ways of handling things.to me i would sae not manly enough.i had most probably had a stamp stuck or wad so ever.wad ever it is.i swear i had not tok abt anythin wif regards to realtionship this while.or for long.he left this mess.i wouldn't clear it.i had rather it left mess and empty.i dun wan no one in there.but the large portion to be my gfs.though hopes are dim.i had not wish that the clique disintergrate.but its left to ur own's decision.cause wad ever u feel better and happier wif.i m fine wif it.as for him.he is seems so small now.can't even seen him wif my naked eyes.i dunnoe why.i dunnoe how to classify this "disease" perhaps i need a magnifying glass. then was the fight wif daddy.i had no idea wad got into him. he flung my books and papers over the room. he even tired crashin the comp.i was horrified. i stoped him. and in the process i pushed him away.i was so scared at the same time so lost. even my parents had not stand by me. i questioned him. have he know how much i scored?does he know when is my exams?does he even care if when is my bdae? or how old m i? he advoided my question and said other things. like comin home late.i had wonder why?why ask if i come home late when u dun even care abt me?tears flow like river flowin again. i used to share so much wif u. abt my family and all. u meant so much to me. but rite at this time.where were u? i dunnoe. i lost myself in the waters again. but so wad if u ahd meant so much to me. when my presences means nothin at all to u. after the words u said. i was so disappointed. i did not blame u for anythin. but i had onli pray tat tat was a moment of anger.a moment of augnish. tat words came out so hurting. but tell me m i being so naive again? i have no idea. the respect i have for u still stands. wad abt mine? till this time i had treat you more den jus a friend. a gf. and even a sister. can i ask u. wad m i to u? jus another passing wind. that u had not want to retain? if tats wad makes u happy. u have my blessing and regards and this you still remains as a friend in my heart. thats all i have got to sae

about the silent part. i have to say all this thots running wtithin me had not allow me to want to tok much.till yest. when i talked to li.i wan to thank ya here. i had promise i had stand strong. and i wiped my tears clear. dump the love for him outside the window. close the chapter. but no more chapters shall beings form there. tat's the last page and the last cast and setting for the love story of my life. have u least understand how much all this friendships meant to me?

thank you all

i love u all always

and if he ever chance on this blog :

All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done